How many times do you say something that starts like, “I’m not good at…” or “I can’t do…” or “I don’t like…”?
We typically receive what we expect. If I say to myself, “I’m not good at math.” When the time comes to learn or use any mathematical skill set, I will shut down and prove to myself that I am not good at math.
These “I’m not” “I can’t” statements may seem part of life. You can resign ourself to this being true about who you are. This resignation prevents you from being or becoming the best version of yourself. Your limiting beliefs are doing precisely that, limiting you.
The human mind is so powerful that you can trade these limiting beliefs with liberating truths.
- Start by recognizing your limiting belief. I know this sounds basic, but many of us aren’t aware of those Whispering voices in our heads that are holding us back. We may have been given these beliefs by someone telling us we were not capable of doing something Or, we may have tried something that didn’t work out so well, and we created our own belief about not being good at something. Where ever they come from, it’s time to start becoming more aware of what we tell ourselves.
- Now you have recognized it, you can record the belief. Write down a simple sentence of how that limiting belief shows up in your life. There is no need for too much detail; you will want it out of your head and on paper.
- Read what you have written, and when I say read it, I mean you read it aloud. Different connections are made in the brain when you speak and hear something. How does it sound to you? Is true? Is it giving you energy or holding you back? If someone said this to you, what would you think?
- Give yourself permission to reject or reframe this limiting belief. If it is flat-out false, replace it with something you want as a belief. You can also reframe it. Doing this helps you with some of the more challenging beliefs. Here’s what I mean: I am not good with administration tasks; for me, that is a belief I have had for a long time. I know I can reframe it to become more proficient, but I don’t enjoy the work that goes into office administration. So, I have learned to reframe it, and now I say, “I don’t like administration work, but there are plenty of people in the world who love this work, and so I can let them shine and do what they love.” In other words, I have an administrative assistant that loves their work.
- You can also revise the belief to fit who you are. If you want to play as a striker for your high school soccer team but believe you don’t have the skill sets the coach is looking for, you might want to revise it to, “I don’t have the skill set to play striker, but I have a great deal of experience and skill to play right midfield.”
- Now you have all the elements in place, it’s time to reorient yourself to your new reality and begin living into your new story. You may have some doubts, but that is normal. As you tell yourself your new liberating truths, you will start to believe these truths and turn up differently in those areas of your life. The key is to keep reminding yourself of your new beliefs, and when the old storyline starts to come back, remind yourself of the story you want to live.
This change method is not something that happens overnight. Give yourself some grace, and know it will take some time. I have been practicing this for years, and still, I find myself falling back into my old narrative. To combat this, I have created an agreement with myself – “I will not to talk bad about myself.” This contract is beneficial because I have already decided to be kind to myself, saving energy. I simply recognize my belief, record it, review it, reject or reframe it, revise it, and then reorient my life toward implementing my liberating belief.
Changing your thinking will help you become open to new opportunities. Being open to opportunities will help you grow into the person you can become.